These Characters Have Me Like -_-

FaceThe expression I need to work on so characters stay away
(No, this isn’t me lol)

I went to a party in St. Elizabeth, and it seems that me attracting characters is an island wide thing. I’m yet to pinpoint what it is about me that makes these characters make a beeline for me. I hope to figure it out very soon. Let’s refer to this particular guy as Farmer Joe (I promise the name will make sense soon).

Farmer Joe headed over to me and struck up a conversation. Based on my very basic responses and uninterested expression, I thought it was clear as day that I wasn’t interested. Each time he walked away and I thought that was the last of him, he would appear again beside me and continue talking. This happened around five times. At one point his hand made its way to my neck. Total stranger. How is this okay? One, why are you touching me and two, how awkward is that? I stepped away so that it was quite clear he needed to remove his hand. He got the message, or so I thought. Very shortly after, his hand was on my arm. I had enough by then. “I can hear you without you touching me,” I told him. He looked a bit taken aback that I had just called him out. He went on speaking and somewhere in all of it he asked, “Why don’t you like me?” I just looked at him and looked away. Umm are we five years old? ‘Why don’t I like you?’

Next came the highlight of the conversation (I don’t even know if I should call it a conversation since I was barely saying a word). “Where are you from?” he asked. “Kingston,” I replied. “I’m in Kingston sometimes,” he said, and paused as though waiting for me to say something along the lines of us meeting up. When he realized I wasn’t going to break my silence, he said, “I know vegetables can be very expensive in Kingston. I can take tomatoes and other things for you. It would be cheaper to buy from me. I’m a farmer.” He threw in the last line about being a farmer as though trying to impress me. It was one of those mic drop moments lol, like bam! He paused again waiting for my reaction. I think I probably ended up smirking. There’s definitely nothing wrong with being a farmer so that wasn’t the reason for my smirk. It’s just that I’ve never gotten that one before; I’ve had guys try to be impressive talking about money and materialistic things, but never have I had someone try to impress me with farming. It was very different to say the least. By the way, the fastest way to turn me off is thinking I’ll be impressed by money. I’ve experienced enough in my lifetime to not be impressed by any of that, plus it just makes me see you as being shallow.

Anyway, Farmer Joe continued with the chatter and goodness gracious he was touching my arm again. DID HE NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID? “You are touching me…” I pointed out, and said it with so much venom that he removed his hand in a hurry. “You don’t seem like you’re really in the mood to talk. Look like yuh deh pon a different level.” Really? Wonder what gave it away lol. He then held up a tin of Baygon (It’s Baygon that they use, right?), and asked me if I wanted to light it. Mercy…really dude? So yeah, it doesn’t take much to make me happy, but lighting roach spray isn’t really what I had in mind. I shot him a look and gave him a firm “No!”

Farmer Joe wasn’t the only character that night. There was also Mr. Too Cool. On one of the occasions that Farmer Joe walked off, a guy came up and motioned behind us, pointing to Mr. Too Cool standing there with his friends. Yup, the old ‘send a friend to call the girl you’re interested in because you’re too cool to come over yourself.’ I haaaaaaate that. I remember the very first time that happened I was in high school and at a party with my friends. Going to an all girls school you’ll have a few guys whose names float around and girls go crazy for them. Me, not so much. Anyway, it just so happened that it was one of those popular guys who had sent his friend to call me over. I sent him back with a message – “If he wants to talk to me then he needs to come over here.” It’s continued to happen over the years and it irks me every single time. Anyway, back to the story at hand. I gestured to Mr. Too Cool – if you want to talk to me, you come to me. I turned back around and in two twos he was beside me grinning. “People still do that? Send their friends to call girls over? I don’t know what kind of girls you’re used to, but I don’t respond to that.” He gave an embarrassed laughed and then asked for my number. I told him no. “Why not?” he asked. “Listen, it done gone bad already (referring to him calling me over), and I mean come on, you ask for my number just like that? No likkle convo or nutten? No.” Guys, don’t you at least ask the girl for her name first? I mean, something…He tried asking for my number again but realized I was not giving in and took himself away back to his friends, minus my number. *Rolls eyes* Men, you gotta come better than that. Come on now -_-

I ask for a Good Shepherd (see one of my previous blog posts), and I get Farmer Joe and Mr. Too Cool. Bwoy…I can’t win huh.