Find Your Bobbette

Just like most of you, I recently learned about Luton Shelton’s illness.  Our star footballer has been battling Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) since 2016.  As per http://www.als.ca, ‘ALS is a disease that gradually paralyzes people because the brain is no longer able to communicate with the muscles of the body that we are typically able to move at will. Over time, as the muscles of the body break down, someone living with ALS will lose the ability to walk, talk, eat, swallow, and eventually breathe.’

A young man in his prime (only 32 years old) facing this life threatening disease…let that sink in.

Since he went public with his illness, I’ve been seeing several posts on social media pertaining to him.  Today it was one of his own posts that really made me stop and think, and it was because of the caption.

bobbette Taken from Luton’s Instagram page (@ls_21)

Luton and Bobbette have been together for over thirteen years, and are about to celebrate five years of marriage.  When they met, he was a healthy man ready to take on the world.  She could not have possibly foreseen what the future would hold – that the love of her life would be diagnosed with a neurodegenerative disease, that his speech would become almost unintelligible, that her husband, the legendary footballer would get to a point (very early on) where he would rely on her for his every need; taking her from not just his wife and mother of their three young children, to primary caregiver.

It made me think about how the choices we make now impact the rest of our lives; how important it is to ensure that we look for more than just a pretty/handsome face and a little spark in a partner.  You need a fire, someone of substance; someone who will stand by your side on the field when the crowd has left the stadium.  Do you have a ride or die, and if you do, do you appreciate him/her?

I’ve had my own ‘Bobbette’ at different points throughout my life and not acknowledged it.  I have been fortunate to have a few good men cheering in the stands for me.  They’ve had a sign with my name, they’ve been shouting the loudest…they were my number one fan…and I didn’t even stop to give them an autograph.  Let’s be real – we have all had a ‘Bobbette’ and not appreciated him/her, and sometimes as a result of that, they’ve ended up walking out with the rest of the crowd.  Luton looked in the stands and saw value in Bobbette, and today she is by his side, sitting on the bench with him and seeing him through his darkest hours.

This couple really got me thinking that you may be scoring goals now, but will you always be?  When all is said and done, you want to know that the person you settle down with will have your back through the good and the bad, and literally through sickness and in health.  You want him/her to see all your flaws (yeah we are all FAR from perfect) and accept them, to appreciate and love you for…YOU…no matter what challenges life throws your way.

At the end of the game will you be alone on the field or will you have your number one fan by your side?

Click here to watch an interview with Luton, his wife and father – Courtesy of The Gleaner

To donate, please go to https://www.gofundme.com/luton-shelton-fights-als-disease

 

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Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice

 

Sometimes

They say nice guys finish last. Does that go for nice girls as well? Should ‘nice’ be out for 2018? You know how guys get friend zoned?  Well, I’m the girl who gets told a million times that she’s ‘wife material’ but despite that I’ve never even made it out the starter blocks lol.  My friends say I pick the wrong ones and so I’m to blame for that.  They could be onto something.  To be fair to myself, I don’t realize what they’re like initially, but that being said, they do give me signs early enough that should tell me to back up and walk away.  I think you have to be careful of what you put out there though. There is perhaps such a thing as being too nice and thus allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. Funnily enough, men seem quick to give effort to females who aren’t quite sugar and spice and everything nice though. Go figure.

Let’s take a walk through what I will refer to as my series of unfortunate events, or at least some of them.  They certainly weren’t funny at the time, but now I can look back and have a good laugh at them. Side note before you get going- my definition of ‘talking to’ does not equate to boyfriend/girlfriend status. It’s just the initial phase where you’re interested and getting to know each other. None of these made it past that.


But I Told You
A mutual friend told me that the guy I was talking to had a girlfriend.  Well, imagine my surprise.  I of course asked him about it and was told, “But I told you.” You know I hit the roof, right?  First of all he had told me diddly squat about having a girlfriend and then had the gall to lie and say he did.  Come on, how would I forget something like that? To add insult to injury, HE went off on ME about it. Huh?  Despite that, after quite some time passed I was able to forgive (maybe not forget since here I am blogging about it) and we were actually able to be friends.  In his defense, he was young at the time. Well, not that youth is a free pass, but hey…


The Disappearing Act
This guy would call me several times a day, every day.  That in itself is rare, isn’t it? No one calls anymore. It’s strictly messaging.  Anyway, I noticed the calls totally stopped and he wouldn’t pick up when I called either.  That was strange as we hadn’t had any quarrels or so forth.  I tried messaging to ask what the problem was and even that got no response. Well, after a while I saw a friend of his. The person had no idea that there was any interest on either side and so forth, and that we had been communicating.  They casually brought him up and said he migrated to be with his girlfriend.  Migrated? To be with who?  The girlfriend who I thought was just an ex he no longer had any ties to?  Remember though that the person didn’t know his friend had been pursuing me and I wasn’t going to reveal that at this point.  Thank God for my time in the performing arts as I had to act very uninterested and nonchalant and just say, “Oh really? How come?” He let me know that his girlfriend had ‘filed for him’ and that his papers came through so off he went. Can you say shocked?  In case you’re wondering, I never heard from him again. Not…one…word…


She’s Just a Friend
This is another good one.  You know when you get a funny feeling?  There’s just a gut feeling that tells you something isn’t right?  Well there was a guy who was interested in me but there was a girl who he seemed to always be entertaining.  Everything said something was up; my gut and my female intuition.  He would always deny it and insist that they were just friends. I asked about her repeatedly and was always given the same answer.  It just didn’t sit well with me; I wasn’t convinced he was telling the truth so one day I decided I’d just ask her what was up with them.  I figured I could get the truth from her.  Man, I wasn’t ready for her answer.  Her response was, “We’re together”.  Whoa! Listen, if she had slapped me it couldn’t have been worse.  So he’s naming the children he would like to have with me in the future, but is over there ‘together’ with this girl?  Joke was definitely on me because I thought it was her who was ‘the other woman’. Who would have thought it was really me? Dwl. Coincidentally, fast forward to today and one of the names that he had his heart set on turned out to be the name my sister chose for my sweet baby nephew.  I was like, “Lord, you have a real sense of humour”.  But I’m glad that the name now has a special and happy meaning for me, because I love my nephew to the moon and back.

Needless to say, things ended with the guy. Funnily enough, despite the fact that both the girl and I had gotten a raw deal, she still found it in her to give me attitude. She told me that we would just have to see which one of us he chooses. Umm really? To this day I remember my words to her – “You’re the only one in that rat race.  I’ve excused myself from it.  I’m not giving him the opportunity to choose.” Well he ‘chose’ her and that was that.

I won’t even lie. I definitely did my share of bawling and moping for this one. Looking back though, I’m like you know you REALLY overdid the crying on that one, right?  Like REALLY.


I Like your Friend
I was on the phone with my friend one day and she said that the person I was talking to had just sent her a text. It wasn’t a big deal to me because we were all friends. “Oh okay, what does he want?” She nervously explained that his text said that he didn’t mean to hurt me but he was actually interested in her and not me. Wait, wait…I wasn’t ready for it. He said what? Now that one came out of nowhere. I definitely didn’t see it coming because this same boy had been acting like he was interested in me. This one was quite a blow. Well, he started pursuing her and eventually started feeling that she wasn’t what he was looking for so it went nowhere.

A few years later I saw him at a party and I got the most heartfelt apology. It was the usual about me being such a sweet girl who didn’t deserve any of what happened. He really did seem sorry, but what was done was done. This was several years ago. We have managed to salvage a friendship (yup, the nice girl in me) and he’s now happily married. At least someone got a happy ending, right?


Waiting on the Right Time

This one I actually had no interest in initially.  He just wasn’t my type but he worked his charm (serious charm), until I ended up being interested. We got closer and closer, and one day a friend of his said, “You know you two would be so cute together if he didn’t have a fiancée.” ‘This can’t be happening,’ I thought.  I held my tongue until there was no one around and asked him about this fiancée who I had just been informed of.  Yes, it was true. He said that he had been waiting on the right time to tell me. Like really? Really? It perhaps wouldn’t have been so bad if I had been chasing him, but I had been going about my life and he made every effort to get my attention, all the while knowing that he could offer me nothing.

I’m just over here now like Jesus take the wheel, cause clearly I’m not doing such a great job. I met up with a friend recently and she cried.  Cried…like real tears.  She said she wants me to experience happiness and have someone who knows my value and treats me well. “You’re the sweetest person and you deserve to be happy,” she said.  I can’t even remember ever seeing her cry before and I’ve known her since childhood. Must be really bad, huh? Lol. I was talking to another friend one day and he reminded me that I bring a lot to the table.  My response – “Umm yeah, I may bring a lot to the table but what am I supposed to do if no one wants what’s on the menu?” Now what do you say to that? Hahaha. For real though, but you know what? Till then I will eat alone.

 

Have I finally learned my lesson? I hope so, but I can’t promise that I won’t maintain some of my ‘nice girl tendencies’, because that’s who I am and there may just be someone who deserves that part of me and will value it. What I can promise however is that I will be more cautious going forward and take heed when the warning signs pop up.

I can only hope that there’s something awesome in store, because I think I’ve had my fair share of ridiculousness.  Until that comes (if it ever does) I have other things to focus on.  Right now I’m working on self-actualization; I have so much untapped potential, and that’s my own fault to a great extent.  I’d really like to find out what my passion is; what it is that makes me feel fulfilled, because really and truly figuring out that piece of the puzzle is major in the pursuit of happiness. Everything else will fall into place.

How The Lizard Stole Good Friday

Lizard Meme

My fear of lizards is here to stay. There’s no getting over it. Somehow one found its way into my room yesterday through a window that the mesh frame needs to be fixed back onto. I wasn’t worried about anything getting in since I don’t open the window. Well, it seems there is a space big enough for lizards to get through. I heard a rustling by my window and from the sound alone I started freaking out imagining that it was probably a lizard. I ran and got the broom before moving the curtain so I could be prepared. With my heart racing (literally), I moved the curtain and there it was on the wall. I immediately started freaking out. I gingerly moved closer to the window so that I wouldn’t frighten the darn thing and slowly slid it open, hoping the lizard would run out. No such luck. I tapped the broom beside it on the wall. All now it nuh move -_- Since it was being stubborn I realized I would need to actually touch it with the broom. Ugh! I barely touched it and instantly the thing flew, yes flew off the wall and ran under my bed!!!! One big chuck off from the wall, similar to when Shaunae Miller dived across the finish line to beat Allyson Felix.

My freaking out reached the next level because now that it was on the ground it meant it could run anywhere in the house and get lost, and ain’t no way me and it living in here together. To make matters worse, even though I saw it go under my bed, when I bent down and looked there was no lizard to be seen. I simply HAD to find it and get it out, but first, serious precautions had to be taken. I closed my bathroom door and ran for newspaper and stuffed it under the door. I was taking no chances, and if it meant I would have to close the bathroom door and stuff newspaper under it each time I went in and out, then so be it. I then rolled up a large carpet I have on my bedroom floor so that if I needed to push the lizard out with the broom there would be nothing in the way. I moved everything that could possibly hinder my mission; shoes, dresser, you name it.

Feeling certain there was nothing it could run behind or into, I did what any person with an irrational fear of lizards would do. Don’t judge me…I removed the pillow cases from my pillows, took the sheet off my mattress and then umm I kinda sorta took the mattress off the bed too. I said don’t judge me :/ With the way my lizard paranoia works, it was a feasible thought to me that since I didn’t see the lizard under the bed, it may somehow be chilling out in my sheet or my pillows or even under the mattress (Yes, I know how silly that sounds). I moved the base of the bed and voila! Out ran the lizard. It ran towards the curtains. They touch the ground so it pretty much got lost in them. I moved the curtain, hoping it would just run out into the open and then I could shove it outside. Nope, it ran over to the curtains by another window. Frisky little bugger.

This clearly wasn’t going to be an easy task. I thought about going for KP to have her put her cat skills to work, but then I remembered the last time she ignored me in my plight with another lizard outside. Clearly I needed reinforcement of the human kind so I made a call, the whole time keeping my eyes glued to the lizard so I would know exactly where it went if it decided to sprint again. “Can you get a lizard out of my room please?” Thankfully the answer was in the affirmative. When he arrived I stayed a safe distance away and pointed to the wretched thing. “There it is!” I said. “This is what you’re afraid of?” he asked. It was on the curtain so he wrapped it up in there, opened the window, put the curtain through it and shook the lizard off outside. He turned to look at me and started laughing. “You really are afraid. Look at how you’re sweating.” Umm yeah, sweating and having heart palpitations. Call my fear of lizards irrational, but it’s definitely real. “I need you to seal me up in here. I don’t care what you have to do. Just seal me up so nothing else can get in.” “I can’t do that. You’d boil up in here,” he said. “I don’t care. I will boil up. Just seal me in here.” My request was met with more laughter.

I thanked him profusely for getting rid of the lizard then took matters into my own hands. I went outside and stuffed every part of the window I could with newspaper. Ain’t no way anything else getting in here with me.  Needless to say, I was exhausted at the end of the day. Moving around a dresser, mattress and so forth will do that to you. I’m just happy the problem is solved. I called my mother to tell her about ‘Operation Lizard’ and despite knowing how afraid I am of lizards, she just couldn’t make sense of it. “You took the mattress off the bed? But why?” “Mommy, I can’t explain. I just get crazy when I see lizards. Even my heart was racing.” “You really need to get over this fear,” she said. Well, I know for a fact I never will. As I started off with – My fear of lizards is here to stay. There’s no getting over it.

Loving The Skin I’m In

hibiscus

I love skin care and hair care!  Skin care is definitely going to dominate this post though.  I’m that girl who has honey and baking soda sitting on her bathroom counter.  If you haven’t tried that, you definitely need to.  The exfoliation is amazing and your skin feels so smooth and soft after!  Recently, and by recently I mean just this year, I decided to give makeup somewhat of a break.  I was never one to pile it on.  Lord knows I haven’t mastered contouring or anything like that.  My everyday routine was just some lightly applied makeup.  Even though it wasn’t heavily done, sometimes it felt like a real chore to remove it at nights.   That, along with a ‘new year, new me, unbothered’ feeling and generally just feeling more comfortable with myself helped me decide to start going about my day fresh faced. I totally understand how liberated Alicia Keys must have felt.  That being said, of course there are days I feel like primping, and out comes the foundation, eyeliner and so forth.  Come on now, I didn’t totally give it up.  I’m just glad I’m at a point where I’m equally comfortable with or without it.  Thankfully I had been taking care of my skin, or I can’t promise that I would have been comfortable enough to go without makeup.

That brings me to skin care products.  Recently I came across a natural skin care line called JAMNATURA.  It’s online based and offers a variety of products; soaps, creams, body oils and masks. I’m a stickler for products that are largely organic.  Of course being a Jamaican it sweetens the deal that these products are infused with Jamaican herbs and spices.  Winning! P.S. It doesn’t hurt that the sister duo behind this awesome new line has great skin.  I’m a believer already 🙂 The sisters describe the products as having ‘healing, regenerative and anti-aging properties.’  I’m most excited about the Dried Hibiscus Soap which is stated to offer benefits such as evening skin tone and controlling oily skin and clogged pores.  It gets better…from now until January 28th, 2017 at midnight JAMNATURA is offering 10% off the Dried Hibiscus Soap (while stocks last).  Just enter the promo code ‘HIBISCUS’ when you’re checking out.

Check out the site www.jamnatura.com and see the other products they have to offer.  You’re sure to find something that you like, just as I did.  I’d love to get your feedback.  Let me know what products you’ve tried from JAMNATURA or are going to try, and what your experience is like.

2016: Year in Review

And just like that, it’s 2017 already. Every year we say that the year went by quickly, but for me, 2016 really and truly felt like it just flashed by.  As I usually do, I’ve rounded up the trending topics for the year.

Let’s dive right into it.

Jamaican men seemed to have lost their minds.

crime2
As the end of the year approached, there were quite a few cases of men seemingly snapping and brutally murdering their lovers (in some cases ex-lovers).  It all seemed so unreal, but domestic violence is very real.  I urge you to look out for your friends and family members.  Be on the alert for signs of abuse and don’t turn a blind eye.  You could be the difference between them living or dying.

It wasn’t only Jamaican men who seemed to lose their minds; the American police seemed to have gone crazy too.

police
It became common (too common) to see broadcasts about civilians being killed by the police in the United States of America. More often than not the victims were Black, and the officers’ actions were questionable.  Watching playbacks of the shootings often made me stop and wonder how in 2016 we were seeing such cruel and seemingly racist behaviour. How did we revert to this?


And in other news in America, Donald Trump became President of the United States.

trump
Were you surprised? I was. Why? He made such crass and racist comments yet still he had such a large following.  That in itself made me realize a sad truth.  What do you think?  Did Hillary Clinton not do enough during her campaigning efforts to encourage the public to vote for her?  What were Hillary’s downfalls and what were the things that worked in Trump’s favour?

Fallen icons

download
We bid farewell to even more musical legends in 2016. I read a tweet that said we should lock the remaining musical greats in a vault to ensure their safety because we can’t afford to lose anymore. Agreed! Prince, George Michael and David Bowie all left us. Prince, he just seemed immortal, didn’t he? Sigh. We also lost actor Alan Thicke. I remember watching him on Growing Pains. I used to love that show. This year we also said goodbye to Fidel Castro; perhaps one of the most controversial figures of all time. Right as we were ready to close 2016, Carrie Fisher and right after, her mother Debbie Reynolds left us too.

Right here in our homeland Jamaica we were reminded that longevity is promised to no one.

download-1
Tears flowed for St. George’s College football captain Dominic James who collapsed while playing the game he loved, and was pronounced dead at the hospital. Whether you knew him or not, you couldn’t help but feel emotional. I think we all joined in mourning with his coach Neville Bell, his George’s family, parents and other loved ones.  We were plunged into mourning again at the stabbing death of Jamaica College student Nicholas Francis.  Over what? A cell phone.  This child’s life was taken because of a simple cell phone.  Another tragic occurrence was the plane crash in Greenwich Town which resulted in the deaths of Jonathan Worton, Dansheer Gilmore and Ramone Forbes. I didn’t know them, but I really felt it, and seeing posts from friends who actually knew them was very sad.

delus
Delus, there is no way I could go on without acknowledging you. I didn’t know him either but when I read that he had committed suicide I couldn’t sleep. I happened to encounter him once and I very well knew who he was when I was walking past but I continued along as if I didn’t.  He gave me a big bright smile (which I guess is what I remembered when I couldn’t sleep) and said, “Gwaan like yuh doe wah smile.”  It wasn’t said conceitedly; it was all in good fun, and at that point we both burst out laughing.  As Chronixx sings, ‘They see me smile but they don’t know what I feel inside.’

I’d like you all to acknowledge that depression is real.  It is not something made up and it is not a sign of weakness.  We all have our troubles and sometimes it’s harder for some of than others to overcome them.  If someone is brave enough to open up and talk to you about something, don’t trivialize their problems.  Don’t dismiss them and tell them that someone has it worse than they do.  Whether that’s true or not, their problem is still just as important and very real to them.  It doesn’t disappear just because ‘someone else is worse off.’  Hear them out.  Also, don’t just throw a ‘pray about it’ or a scripture at them and send them on their way.  They’re struggling. They need more.  Why not offer to pray with them?  Someone opening up to you is a big step for them, and how you respond can either help or make the situation ten times worse.

For everyone we lost, whether named here or not, rest in peace.

We figured out Kartel’s secret.
On a lighter note….Yes!  We finally figured out how Kartel is still managing to put out music and rule the airwaves.  Okay, actually, the world may never know Adi’s secret but take a look at this video.  It was too funny not to share again.

JLP wins

andrew
The Jamaica Labour Party emerged victorious in the February 2016 general election.  Some persons felt that the PNP spent too much time focusing on Prime Minister Andrew Holness’ house versus real issues at hand. What are your views? Whatever the case, I can’t say I’ve ever seen such an interest amongst the younger persons in the population to go out and vote. I hope this trend continues. It was good seeing young people getting involved and making their voice be heard.


X6 Murder Trial

mais
This case gained much public outcry, and even became a trending topic on Twitter.  Quite frankly I don’t even know where to begin to comment on this trial; it all seemed like such a fiasco.  All I will say is rest in peace Khajeel.


Spice served it up hot and spicy.
spice
In honour of our athletes’ outstanding performance at the 2016 Rio Olympic Games, the Government held a reception for them; the Sports Gala and Awards Ceremony, which took place at the National Indoor Sports Centre.  It wasn’t Asafa’s green suit that stole the show, neither was it Usain’s or Julian’s dance moves that left us talking.  No sir, it was dancehall artiste Spice who gave us a performance we will never forget.

For the full story, check out this link for my blog post on Spice’s performance https://shamzsays.wordpress.com/2016/10/19/too-spicy-for-you/


Portia Simpson Miller announced she is stepping down.

portia
People’s National Party Leader Portia Simpson Miller gave the surprising announcement that she will not be seeking re-election as party president next September.  Here’s an excerpt from the Jamaica Observer – Many, including the youth arm of the party, Peoples National Party Youth Organisation (PNPYO), have since called on her to resign.  PNPYO has
called for a change in the political vision being presented to the public, beginning with her as leader, as “the premier political movement in Jamaica, finds itself at a crossroads, where the noble institution has lost the faith, trust, and confidence of the majority of Jamaica’s people”.  Remember when she said she was waiting on God to give her a sign for the date of the 2016 general election. Do you think she waited on a sign from God to step down too? Hmmm.


Photos of Gully Bop and 50 Cent had us wondering what’s going on.

bop-1

As the older folks say, ‘What nuh dead, nuh dash weh.’  Gully Bop came on the scene looking like this.  See picture below (apologies for the picture quality).

bop

He skyrocketed to fame after a YouTube video of him singing. He was ‘cleaned up’ by Ms. Chin and that was quite a dramatic romance. As you all know, they are no longer together, but it was good while it lasted.  Gives me hope too. Maybe there’s a Mr. Chin out there just waiting to scoop me up lol.
gully-bop-and-shauna-chin

Anyway, this year, photos of Bop and none other than 50 Cent surfaced and needless to say we were all shocked. There is speculation that ‘Fiddy’ will be casting Bop in his hit series ‘Power’ or that there is a collaboration in the making.  Well let’s see if the big reveal happens in 2017.

Mia-Skye captured our hearts. #prayforMia

I’m guilty of wasting time on Instagram.  Are you? It starts off with looking at just one picture, and before I know it I’m scrolling through tons more.  It was because of this however that I came across a little girl with a personality ten times as big as she is; Mia-Skye.  Sass, precociousness, charm, wise beyond her years are just a few of the words that sum her up.  I can always count on an amusing post to make me crack a smile or burst into full out laughter.  As you can probably guess, I’m about to launch into an epistle about Mia.  Just a short paragraph would never suffice for this shining star. I hope that in sharing her story, you’ll be encouraged to help her in any way you can.

Recently, Mia was involved in a serious car accident which left her near death.  As explained by her mother, Sasha, this is damage to several parts of her brain.  She had half of her skull removed in order for the doctors to remove a blood clot and bleeding in her brain.  Can you imagine your child or another loved one having to go through that? The part of the skull that was removed was placed in her abdomen in an effort to preserve it.  Due to complications she will instead have to get an artificial acrylic bone made to replace the part of the skull that was removed.  She may have to undergo more surgeries in the future as the artificial bone won’t grow with the rest of her head.

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Going back to the hospital yesterday was such a reminder of how good God has been to us. Kids that we left there who weren't as critical as Mia, were still there when we went back…sigh… As her tummy was being dressed yesterday her doctor kept saying "mommy I hope u know Mia is a miracle baby… Patients who come in, in her condition rarely make it to this point"..I told her its the prayers… and I know that God worked thru her as she tried to save her life. I remember hearing the doctors telling me that first night what it is they need to do and thinking " dear God a it dis.." But u see faith… It can truly move mountains! And the God we serve… Is a wonderful, merciful, forgiving, healing, miracle working God. I DOA know bout anybody else but I know I'm not deserving of all that He has done for me. I keep looking at all the posts I've made since all this and I keep thinking.. Bam yuh nuh see everything we beg God fi do di Boss just a come all the wayyy thruuu for u!! Mi wuda wicked if mi Neva talk… So we prayed that everything was OK at her evaluation and it was. Surgery date set for the next 2 weeks. GOD IS GOOD!!!! So let's pray that within the next 2 weeks she doesn't get sick and her body doesn't absorb anymore of the bone in her tummy… Thank u Jesus! Thanks #teamMiaSkye mi love unu… All the persons who send me their own personal stories with similar injury.. Unu give me hope. Thanks as always for the prayers and msgs… #prayforMia #justiceforKhajeelMais

A post shared by Sasha Sepaul -Brown (@badgyalbam) on

There are many things that Mia has had to relearn – seemingly simple things that we take for granted; holding a pencil, walking, etc. I don’t personally know Mia or her mother, but I check Sasha’s account (@badgyalbam) daily for updates on Mia.  I then share the posts on my Facebook page because there are so many other people who have fallen in love with this little girl just as I have, and want to know how she’s doing.  My Facebook friends message me thanking me for keeping them updated.  See, I’m telling you; she’s a special little girl.  It’s amazing to see the outpour of love, prayers and support from all over the world, and just as me, they don’t even know her.  She just has an indomitable spirit that captures you.

There are days I read Sasha’s posts and celebrate right along with her for victories whether big or small, and other days it breaks my heart when I see that Mia is experiencing a setback.  If I feel sad and down, I can only imagine how her mother feels.  This is her child, her baby girl, and there is no break from this ordeal. This is 24/7 for her.  She has had to go from watching her lie unconscious to undergoing surgeries and pretty much having to re-learn everything.  I am sure she wants to take her pain away but she can’t.  All she can do is be there for her.  Sasha is what I view as the epitome of strength.  Even through what must seem like the darkest of times, she still holds the faith and manages to keep it together for Mia.  Compare me to Mia and Sasha, and I just seem like a real wuss. I can be a really big complainer. When things don’t go the way I want, I’m often guilty of feeling all ‘woe is me.’  I look at this little girl and her mother and how positive they remain, and it is nothing short of amazing.

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I love u *kiss* ur ma best friend in the whole wide world. I love u * kiss* ur ma best friend in the whole wide world OK?… I love her soooo much!! I will NEVER stop praying for u! I will NEVER give up or lose faith!! U are my everything… I will do anything needed to have u back to ur usual self. I will sacrifice anything… I will give up everything! She's just 4… She looked at me and said "u sad?" And I sed " gweh nuh man u see nobody sad?" And she say "come here man"…. And I turned on the video…. I wud give my life in a heartbeat to take away all that you are going thru right now. I pray I can be as strong as u are one day… Even with all that u face, u see tears in my eyes and can comfort me…. God u see mi tears…. Oh God u hear mi cries… Sigggghh… But mi Nah stop pray Meemz.. Team Neva give up! Team affi stay strong! Team must have victory!! #GodAlone! #prayforMia

A post shared by Sasha Sepaul -Brown (@badgyalbam) on

I’m asking, as well as encouraging you to say a prayer for Mia and Sasha, and to donate towards Mia’s medical expenses if possible.  As you can imagine, her medical care is very expensive and she needs all the help she can get.  If you would like to donate, please see the below information:

Scotia New Kingston Branch
Account # 000946761 
Branch # 50575

Go Fund Me
www.gofundme.com/Mia-skye

What moments in 2016 stood out for you?

Quarter Life Crisis Mode

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As weddings/engagements and babies continue to flood the timelines of all my social media accounts, I wonder if there’s a memo that I didn’t get.  Everyone is #chillingwithbae (I hate that word by the way. Why did we go from babe to ‘bae’?) and #twobecamethree while I’m over here like #workflow.  I was at a good friend’s baby shower recently, and this was the topic of conversation as I sat chatting and catching up with high school friends.  We also spoke about how some of the girls getting married were genuine shockers because in high school they were known for being… well, you know, a bit on the loose side.  How then was it that these same girls are now sporting wedding rings? Well, high school was a long time ago, and people do change.  If they haven’t changed, hmm *sips tea*

So back to this memo. When was it issued? Did I get one but not notice it? Did I discard it somewhere in pursuit of fulfilling other important goals? I need answers. You know what?  I suppose it’s on me. I haven’t exactly created the ideal environment for meeting Prince Charming (He does exist, right?).  Here’s my life in a nutshell – work, home, supermarket.  How on earth did I go from looking forward to going out and having fun to being such a house rat?  I looooove staying in, so much so that it should be a crime (No really, it should be. It’s really bad; just give me Netflix and I’m fine).  I give in on rare occasions and agree to go out with friends but when the day comes I start wondering what the hell I was thinking and why on earth I agreed to go.  Unless Prince Charming shops at my supermarket and we happen to meet in an aisle, there may be no fairy tale ending to this story.  Plus, if I’m honest with myself I suppose I’m picky.  Not overly so (my cousin would disagree), but if I’m moving from ‘me’ to ‘we’ something has to be pretty darn special about you.  I’ve gotten so used to my own company that you better come with a hell of a resume if you want to be considered.  Oh gee, that sounded kinda ‘Diary of a Mad Black Woman’ lol. Not very enticing.  No wonder Prince Charming hasn’t come out of the magic forest yet.

How about this though?  How about no more living in quarter life crisis mode? No more wondering if I’m on schedule or not.  How about just seizing the day and seeing where each day takes me?  Carpe diem, let’s give it a try…

Shopping Partners…

kanyeThe expression I need to perfect

I meant to go to the supermarket much earlier today but it felt like such a task to leave home. I finally decided that this bum behaviour was not going to cut it and unwillingly dragged myself out of the house at minutes to 9. I threw on my jeans and a T-shirt with a sweater, and looked presentable enough to be seen in public, but not enough to really be seen if you get what I mean. I just wanted to be in and out like Casper and not bump into anyone I know.

I got to the supermarket and was going down an aisle when the unthinkable happened…I heard someone say, “Hi there!” I reluctantly turned around only to see a man who I didn’t know giving me the biggest smile. “Not today sir, not today,” I said in my head. I looked at him quite blankly and hoped that would shut him down, but nope, no such luck.

Man: Can I shop with you?
Me: What? What do you mean? (pushing cart and walking away while asking, so clearly not interested in the response)
Man: You know…we shop together.
Me: Why would we do that?
Man: (Now pushing his trolley and walking alongside me…ugh) Well, you can help me shop.
Me: I’m sure you don’t need any assistance. I’m certain you do this all the time.
Man: Well, I’m not usually the person who does the shopping.

Of course I start thinking that probably means he has a wife or girlfriend at home, and here he is harassing me. Hmmm.

Man: I’m Chris. What’s your name? (By now we’ve walked down two aisles and I’m wondering if my expression isn’t accurately conveying my thoughts…go away)
Me: Krystal (My tried and true fake name that I’ve been using for years. The Lord must be tired of hearing me lie)
Man: So how old are you Krystal? I’m not quite twice your age. (Ahhh I see what you did there. Drawing for that Shabba song, trying to be funny)
Me: Not twice my age. Are you sure about that?
Man: You look about 23.
Me: Nope

He deliberates further about my age.  We’ve now gone down yet another aisle and I realize it seems we really are ‘shopping together.’  I purposely stopped at the mayonnaise and took an agonizingly long time. Decisions, decisions…Hellmans or Kraft, oh and there are all these different sizes. Glass or plastic? Hahaha.

Man: So I’m not even going to ask you for your number, because I know you’re going to say no. (Yaaay! My expressions seem to be working again. He knew not to even ask)
Me: You’re right.
Man: Instead, I’m going to ask you to take my number. (Really Slick Rick?)
Me: Umm no. How about you just look out for me whenever you’re at the supermarket. You might just see me again. You never know. (While writing this I remembered the time I gave a guy the first 6 digits of my number and told him he would just have to figure out the seventh. Believe it or not, I got a call from him. My number ends with an 8 :/)
Man: They say lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice.
Me: I don’t know what to tell you then. Just hope for a coincidence.

Well, he went off on his way and I continued without my shopping partner. What have I learned? One, I need to work on my expressions; they aren’t effectively portraying my thoughts.  Two, it could have been that I bumped into someone I actually know, so this ‘I hope I don’t see anyone I know’ really doesn’t cut it.